First Kiss

I very much would like to tell you about my first kiss.  May I?  Whenever I’m asked, “Who was your first kiss?” I think back on that night with tingly goose bumps and an unrestrained smile.  I was lucky, you see, to have the perfect first kiss.  It wasn’t awkward, silly, or un-classy.   It was, like I said, absolutely perfect in every way a kiss should be.  

I don’t know what it was about this boy, but he had me at the very first smile.   He was quite the charmer (I’m a hopeless sucker for charmers) with his perfect blue eyes and charismatic style.  I didn’t see an imperfection in him at all.  I decided early on that if he wanted me to, I would follow him to end of the earth.  I know, I was a relentless, sappy, hopeless romantic.  Ridiculous.  But I was.  We spent almost every day together going for walks in the beautiful fall Virginia woods, exploring the country hometown we now found ourselves in, and even doing mundane things like homework and studying.  In my mind, it was perfect.  

I spent several weeks wondering and fretting over whether he liked me or not.  I knew he spent all his time with me, but I was unsure how he felt.  I threw in subtle hints here and there tied in with sentiments of my helpless heart.  Yet, he didn’t make a move.  We just stayed friends.  

Then….

We went for a walk in the rain one night.  I just remember it was soon after my birthday.  It was a gorgeous fall evening with light rain.  I don’t remember where we walked, but I remember we stopped by an old fence and we both leaned on it talking for a long time.  He leaned close and I thought, “this is it! He’s going to kiss me.”  

But he just touched my ear and said, “You’re missing an earring.”  I quickly reached for my ear to discover that my earring was in fact missing.  Oh….how I wanted him to be leaning in to kiss me.  The moment was gone and we searched the area for about ten minutes till we found my silly earring.  We headed home and I was distraught.  

The anticipation that comes with a new “flame” is absolute torture.  It’s as if the world completely slows down and you spend your days fighting with all your might against the molasses of time.  You hold your breath constantly hoping, praying that this isn’t all a fantasy, but in fact reality and that love will soon be confessed.  Maybe...

Maybe.

Just maybe.

This was my first experience with such an anticipation.  I had never kissed anyone before and had never wanted so badly to create a relationship.  I tried my best to keep my cool and wait patiently.

But dang it! Patience is not my thing.  I kept thinking to myself, “Why does he have to be so perfect?  If he wasn’t so wonderful, I would be happier without him.”  I’m dramatic.

My patience paid off, though.  And I’m glad I kept it calm for as long as I did because he finally came around….

 

Not long after that walk in the rain, my perfect boy wanted to show me something he had found.  We met up in the early evening and he was waiting for me below my apartment window.  He grabbed my hand for the first time and my knees went weak.  I’m sure I had some sort of silly expression of excitement on my face because I don’t hide my emotions very well, but that’s beside the point.  He was holding my hand and we walked down the hill.  He took me down to where he had found an old foundation of a house.  We were in a historic colonial area of Virginia, so many old building and foundations were all around.  He showed me where the different rooms might have been and then took me right to where the fireplace still stood.  We talked about who might have lived in that old house and made up stories of lives past in that area.  The sun set and a full moon came out to illuminate this perfect evening.   

All this time, he was holding my hands.  I wanted so badly to give him my first kiss.  But I just let him talk and played along with it.  And then as if a wish fulfilled, he said, “I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Oh. Really?  Why would you want to do that?”  Oh yeah, I was playing it cool.  Jana!  This is no time to play it cool!

 

“Because I like you.  Are you OK with that?”

Oh the irrepressible smile began to take over my face.  “Yes.”

“Is that a yes to a kiss, or a yes that you’re OK that I like you?”

“Both.”

And he leaned in and kissed me perfectly on the lips.

Now, I consider myself a respectable, classy, young lady, so I will not elaborate on the details.  Just know that it was a kiss better than I could have imagined.  

We walked home hand in hand, absolutely giddy.  And that was the start of a beautiful romance….