Surprise, surprise!

Oh the tragedies of Facebook.  It's a cruel thing, that Facebook.  It's more often than not the bearer of bad news and can change everything you ever thought to be true to be untrue. 

Someone asked me recently if I’d ever looked up old crushes from elementary or middle school to see how they turned out now.  I have not.  I don’t really see the point in digging up old flames from the dust.  If they’re in the past, leave them in the past.  Sometimes, I’d like to keep them just the way I remember them, rather than squander them with new impressions.  

Soon after being asked that question, a dear friend from elementary school looked me up on Facebook and requested me as a friend.  I was delighted to have that (somewhat) connection again with her and eagerly accepted the request.  She seems to have turned out to be the beautiful accomplished young lady I always imagined her to be.  As I was clicking through her recent photos, my eyes fell upon a face I knew so well as a child.  Oh, he consumed my every girlish 12-year-old thought.  When I recognized who he was 12 years later, I gasped in horror!  He was short.  He was fat.  He was wearing an aloha shirt.  He was in no way the dreamy boy that was the first to break my little heart.  Terrifying, that Facebook.  Up until that very moment, when he would occasionally cross my mind, I imagined him to be something completely different.  Oh, how I wish I had never fell upon that photo.

I suppose I should tell you the story of my very first heartbreak.  I had a very big heart when I was a little girl.  I allowed all sorts of emotions to flow in and out and when I had a crush on a boy, I had a CRUSH.  I was very good at crushing.  It was almost like a profession.  I wasn’t obsessed.  I knew the boundaries.  And I always played hard to get.  I always got what I wanted.  (These young girl antics in no way reflect who I am today!  But maybe some of you would beg to differ.)  When dreamy boy mentioned above moved into my fifth grade class, I was immediately stricken.  He had dark tan skin, and the biggest smile.  Lucky for me, he got put in the seat directly across from me.  Fifth grade finished up with us being delightful friends and always spending lunch and recess together.  I took my time with the boy, and was very patient.  

Sixth grade came along, and he got put in the classroom next door to mine.  I was disappointed at first, but I knew he liked me, and I wasn’t too worried about the wall that separated us during the majority of the day.  When lunch time came, I would always pass by his table, and as soon as recess began, we were immediately by each other’s side playing all sorts of incredible games.  I finally worked up the courage to tell him that I liked him, and life was good. 

Even though we would never ever hug (unthinkable at 12 years old!) and we never discussed our feelings for each other after my confession, we had an understanding that we liked each other.  Everyone knew it.  That’s just how it was.  So, when the sixth grade graduation dance came along, and I wasn’t allowed to go, I wasn’t worried about my boy dancing with other girls.  I trusted him completely. 

On the day of the dance, I was over at his house celebrating his little sister’s 10^th birthday.  We were best friends and I loved that she didn’t mind that I liked her brother.  It all seemed to work perfectly.  I had a wonderful day full of cake, water balloons, and elementary flirtations.  As I was getting ready to leave the party, my dreamy boy told me that he would tell me all about the dance on Monday and he wished desperately that I could be there with him.  I went home perfectly happy and oh so in love.  

Monday came.  There were only two weeks left of school and soon after I was to move to Germany, far, far away from my boy, but I didn’t think about it.  I hadn’t a care in the world.  As I stood in line for lunch, everyone in my boy’s class started pointing at me and whispering.  He wasn’t looking at me, and I could tell he refused to.  I got a horrible feeling in my stomach, but I stayed calm and ignored it.  Before I could grab my food and sit down, a very big girl with a very big mouth pulled me over to give me the details of Saturday night and what went down.  

“Did you heard about John and Jenny?!” (Mind you, the names have been changed.)  

“No,” I quietly replied.

“They’re together.”

No way.  NO WAY!  I had no idea he even liked that girl!  She was a whole head taller than him and wore political t-shirts with words she couldn’t even pronounce.  (No doubt her mother put those on her.)  She wore her hair in a horrible scrunchie every day and was the biggest brat.  Nonetheless, it was true.  He finally looked up at me and that quick glance confirmed that he was with that awful girl.  I quickly went over to my table.  I remember lunch consisted of a taco, rice, and corn.  I didn’t touch a bit of it.  I ran to the garbage can threw the whole tray in there and ran straight for the girl’s bathroom.  I couldn’t take it anymore!  I bawled my little eyes out in the stall.  I cried, and cried not knowing how I was ever going to survive without him in my life.  12-year-olds are so dramatic.  After about five minutes, I heard a soft knock at my stall.  I opened up to find his little sister standing there crying as well.  She quickly grabbed me in a hug and cried right along with me telling me how sorry she was for what her brother did to me.   It sure was nice to have her comfort.

The next two weeks passed quickly, thank goodness.  I may have a cried a few more times after that infamous day, but I knew that somehow, I would move on.  On the last day of school, he approached me.  He gave me a goodbye present and held me in the longest hug of my life.  I never wanted to let go, but I knew I had to.  

Soon after I moved to Germany, he wrote me a letter apologizing for what he had done and told me that he broke up with his so-called girlfriend.  He asked if we could be together again, but I knew at that point, it wasn’t possible.  I never wrote back, and I never heard from him again.  

I always thought him to have gone on in life as handsome and as smart as ever.  He had to turn out like that with how badly he broke my little heart.  But alas…truth always reveals itself!  Like I said before, sometimes things are just better left in the past.